No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
