Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
