And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
