I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize