And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
