ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
