First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize