I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
