I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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