that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
