Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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