Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
