im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
