'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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