yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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