Apparently you make a good broom.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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