i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
