Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
