my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
