Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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