you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
