All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
