It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Randomize
