i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
