a queef is a wish your heart makes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
