dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Screwed.edu
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
