Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
