so explain again why im purple
no
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
