oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
