Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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