remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
