Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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