Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize