Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have fence marks all over my body
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
