just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
