i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
