This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The Olympian is in my bed
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
