Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
