So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
