walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
