your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
