ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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