Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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