rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
