My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just pee around me
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
