i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
