smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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