i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
