he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize