I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
