Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
