I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize