I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
