Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
