Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
