My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize