I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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