those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Damn victory sex feels great
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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