You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
