The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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