I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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