Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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