she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
As shirtless as possible
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to make out with him forever
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
