the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
