Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
