Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
