He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
