We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
